On Making a New Year’s Resolution

Are you one of those, at the beginning of a new year, who makes a resolution? I am this year.

From Sue Bender’s Plain and Simple, I lift up a distinction she learned from the Amish during the months she lived with them. She experienced in them the difference in having choices and making a choice. As one who intepreted freedom as having many choices, she witnessed in the Amish the freedom granted by a framework from making a few essential choices.

When I moved from being a director of a department within a medical center to be a pastor, I relished the freedom of many choices. With the exception of worship planning/leadership, plus a sprinkling of “have to” commitments during the week, I could develop my own calendar. Each morning I would wake up to the question: “What is the best use of my time today?” I thought, what freedom to shape my ministry on my own! In time, not long actually, I felt the burden of this freedom. The fatigue of over-choice set in. I missed the framework, the structure and accountability of my former job.

We know this truth. It’s a paradox at the very heart of the gospel: “In God’s service is perfect freedom,” we declare. Or, being bound to our first love, God, is to be free from worshiping and serving other “ultimates.” Or, to promise “yes” to a life partner until death parts us is to free us to say “no” to other intimate relationships. We know this truth: freedom is not having as many choices as possible: it’s the fruit of our capacity to make a choice.

And since we are in a vocation full of expectations, requests, and opportunities coming at us, we are especially vulnerable to expending huge amounts of energy and time determining our responding choices. If it’s going to happen, it is largely up to us to make a few essential choices that frame our life in ministry, a few choices that set in place structures that assist our discerning “yes” and “no.”

Take as a case in point: your “day-off” for self-care. It is your decision what day to choose or not choose a set day-off. I observe that if pastors make a choice and it becomes the norm for them and known by staff and congregation, then the freedom to decline or negotiate requests for your time is greatly enhanced. A structure, a framework is in place.

The same principle works with committees and congregations. How often we want to protect our options, have lots of choices, leave open many possibilities—then experience how unfreeing and time/energy consuming this can be. On the contrary, from all the choices possible, how freeing and energizing making an essential choice can be.

Here is a choice I am making, my New Year’s Resolution: I will practice being present to what is before me—with wonder, love, or at least curiosity. So during times of “wool gathering” (which are many, many, many) I want to practice developing a muscle for bringing me back to “showing up” to what is before me. And I give you permission to ask me, “Mahan, how are you doing with that resolution?”

You, my friend, you with many choices, is there an essential choice you making this year?

3 Responses to On Making a New Year’s Resolution

  1. Bill Ratliff says:

    Thanks, Mahan, for the thoughtful and timely reflection.
    “Developing the muscle” is the real issue, isn’t it. In thinking
    about it, sometimes I want to “gather wool”–after all, that is a
    wonderful part of retirement. Sometimes my wool gathering produces
    insights or intuitions that are helpful. And, of course, it is not.
    I guess it takes discernment to know when the wool gathering is
    something we want to continue or to stop it. And when I’m gathering
    wool, I’m seldom in a space to discern. So I’m left with a
    conundrum!

    Like

  2. Mike Thomas says:

    My commitment is each day to give primary attention to all
    the things, and more, I do to care for my physical, mental and
    spiritual health.

    Like

  3. gacochran says:

    Thanks Mahan for this re-focusing. With working two part-time jobs now (a choice I made) and feeling the pull from expectations in both places; like you Mahan, I have felt the whispers of living more in the present moment…what is before me. This is what I want to live into this year.

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